Twenty-one months…

One year and nine months…

Almost two years…

That’s how long it took me to realize how quickly things can change.

Around this time two years ago, I learned about an impending change that would completely disrupt life as I knew it. I viewed it as a disruption because as far as I was concerned, it destroyed every plan I had…every plan we had. I spent so much time throwing myself the most regal of pity parties that I failed to see why this change would end up being one of the greatest lessons to date.

Growing up, I was always a loner. My parents didn’t really do the “friend” thing and therefore, I felt like I didn’t need to do it either. I had a select few people that I rocked with but for the most part — I stayed to myself. While there were many reasons for that like being younger than my peers (even now), being teased about senseless things, and just not being part of or even welcomed in the various cliques around me…the main reason I didn’t have many friends is that I didn’t really know how to make any.

Now as I make my way closer to another milestone birthday, I can’t help but think about how different things are. They’ve always been changing but the past 21 months have really brought things into perspective for me. As I approach the end of this season, I decided to reflect on the changes I’ve undergone as a person. That reflection resulted in a list of 21 lessons that I will use as I continue to progress through life. I hope you can use them too!

1. There are friends…and then there’s family. Know the difference.
2. Patience is truly a virtue.
3. Everyone doesn’t mean you well — regardless of how well and pleasant their intentions are packaged.
4. You have to be strong enough to stand on your own…even when others said they would stand with you.
5. Meal planning will save your life.
6. You are not obligated to do anything just because you were asked.
7. Prayer changes things.
8. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been friends, friendly, or even family with someone…people change.
9. It is totally okay to say no…and often.
10. With that, you don’t owe anybody an explanation…not one!
11. Nobody can make you feel anything without your consent.
12. Always take the necessary time to make sure you’re good….like good good.
13. Go To Therapy…and screw anyone who wants to use it as ammo to talk about you.
14. Always be honest with yourself…no matter how much it may suck.
15. There are apologies you may never get…accept it and move forward anyway.
16. Take responsibility for the energy you allow in your space.
17. As beautiful as marriage is, it will always help you identify the ugly in people.
18. God will remove people from your life that aren’t good for you — by them cutting you off or otherwise.
19. Be intentional with your actions.
20. Keep your business your business.
21. I am so much stronger than I realized…and these 21 months helped me see that.

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